Its almost Christmas, a joyful time for most but many also find this a stressful and overwhelming time. Work commitments, end of school activities for parents and trying to be all things to all people. Many parents especially mothers tend to live like this subconsciously most of the time but in this season we can easily slip into overdrive.
I know recently I have allowed myself to be hooked into those old patterns of subconscious self-talk in my quest to get everything done, to enable my business to grow. There has been the pressure of Christmas, finances with High School entry, uniforms, camps , car registration and event planning for next year.
My youngest has just graduated from primary school and pride at the beautiful courageous loving person he is, has truly been a joy to behold. However my mother heart has been fearful for him walking out into the word of adolescence and high school, combined with my knowledge of all that could potentially await him.
In my business of doing everything as a mum I had lost sight of tending to myself with compassion and have been burning the candles at both ends.
These past few days I am feeling sore, unwell and the old headaches and neck pain returning. My body calling to my heart and mind to slow down and notice what is. I have been walking and making sure I am eating well and taking time in the middle of the day for an extra meditation practice, but I had unconsciously allowed those thoughts that tend to make me think in circles run rampant.
How easy is it to sometimes lose oneself in the moment?
Anxiety robs me of who I want to be as a person and a parent.
Take a moment to reflect.
How does your parenting change when you’re feeling overwhelmed?
What is your self-talk at those times or afterwards?
That’s why I love Mindful Self-Compassion so much.
I am reminded that losing oneself in the moment is totally OK because I can find myself again with intention.
It’s like the Ying and Yang of subconscious/consciousness.
One is unintentional which leads me down the meandering path into anxiety and suffering and the other, a simple permission to just be me. With compassion and understanding for all I am in those moments, without judgement.
I tend to myself with love and compassion, dignity and understanding and then freedom flows. My body relaxes, and my mind unhooks from those thoughts, unrealistic expectations and negative judgments.
If you can relate to this, there are some simple exercises you can do to bring yourself to this space. It becomes easier with practice and the more you practice, the deeper you can travel with this.
Life will still bring ups and downs and you will still have moments, but in those moments of discomfort you are able to bring to yourself space and freedom.
First, make sure you are in safe space where you will be undisturbed for a few moments. A quiet space. And sit comfortably.
Allow yourself to just sit quietly and bring your attention to your breath and body. If you are comfortable you might like to close your eyes.
Take a moment to imagine yourself in that moment of overwhelm.
Feel those bodily feelings, the muscles instinctively tensing, your heart rate increasing and mood changing.
Take a few in-breaths followed by a longer out-breath.
Think about your anxious self as if you were a small child.
Gently place one hand over the heart and the other on the belly (your heart area is filled with nerves and points on the body that help to down regulate our nervous system).
Now think of the thoughts you might be thinking in these times, and the feelings.
Allow yourself to become aware of your self-talk in these anxious moments.
Now quietly bringing your compassionate self into that space.
Acknowledge all that the anxious younger self is feeling in that moment as OK, and normal.
Offer Compassion, Understanding, Permission to make mistakes and be human. Talk to your younger self with whatever it is they are needing. Whatever words of comfort he/she might be needing in that moment to unhook from those anxious and negative thoughts and beliefs.
Just allow a few moments with your hand over your heart and focus all that love and compassion, understanding and freedom to just wash over and fill that anxious younger self/child.
When you are ready, return to the present moment and gently remind yourself, that this is available to you, any time you need.
I would love to hear how this practice has been for you.
Please drop me an email or comment and share how this practice has helped you.